In 2015, when her son Shepard was only 11 weeks old, Ali Dodd did what most moms in this country must do–she returned to work and left her son in care of an in-home daycare. Dodd had no paid leave. She and her husband had worked it out so that she could take 10 weeks, but on the 11th week, she had to return to work.
What happened next is every parents’ worst nightmare. The caretaker committed a fatal mistake – she placed Shepard to sleep in a car seat, and left him unattended for up to two hours. When the caretaker finally checked on him, Shepard was not breathing. He was too small to lift his tiny head, and his breath had been cut off.
I can hardly write that sentence and I wish I didn’t have to.
In the midst of her grief, Ali Dodd and her husband became advocates for safe sleep practices so that other parents never have to experience the loss that they have. She founded Shepard’s Watch, and in 2016, the Oklahoma House of Representatives passed ‘Shepard’s Law,’ which prohibits daycares and child care centers from using loose bedding, like blankets, or toys in infant sleeping areas.
Together with Amber Scorah, who lost her son on his first day in daycare, Dodd became an outspoken advocate for paid family leave. She is calling on politicians for practical, paid family leave policies. As Dodd says below, caring for family is a nonpartisan issue. It is a matter of respect for life in all its forms.
I’ll be the first to admit, this is not an issue I really thought about before becoming pregnant. But of course once I was pregnant, I had to navigate the delicate issue of maternity leave. Turns out there is rarely such a thing as actual maternity leave. I took 12 weeks of unpaid leave, combined with filing for short term disability that was paid at 66%. After 12 very short weeks, it was back to work. I felt like I’d hardly been gone. I was lucky enough with my first to have my mother’s help in watching my baby. But with my second, that wasn’t an option, and I dropped my tiny 3 month old baby off with strangers.
As tech companies start offering their employees more and more paid leave, the gap between high income and low income workers and access to paid leave gets even larger. All babies deserve to be cared for, and all parents deserve time at home with their babies, not just the ones who happen to work in Silicon Valley.
I spoke with Ali about her turn to activism in the wake of her son’s death, and why she is fighting so hard for families.
You have become an outspoken advocate and a leader in the fight for child safety and parental leave policies. Were you an activist before the death of your son occurred, or was that really the impetus for you?
I’ve always been pro-life, and as I’ve matured and had a family of my own, my definition of what being pro-life really means has expanded. As I watch my parents and my friends’ parents and grandparents age, it’s obvious that all life matters, from conception to grave. The difference with small children is that they don’t have a voice to speak up for themselves like the older generation. So I feel honored to have a small voice and am so grateful that so many other moms and dads have added their voice! We must demand better than an infant mortality rate of 3500-4000 babies dying every year in the US.
How, in the midst of your grief, did you find the strength to turn to activism? From where and what did you draw your strength?
If you ever meet another parent who has had their child die, they will tell you that this place just no longer feels permanent. As bereaved parents, we have to make a choice daily, if not several times a day, to exist. Some have chosen to fight. That’s what I’m doing. I’ll fight until my last breath and I hope Shepard’s legacy plays a small part in reducing preventable infant death.
You said in a Fox News op ed that “I was informed a month before my due date that I would have to return to work in 30 days, because of an obscure rule that states an employee must work at a location that has 50 employees within a 75 mile radius to qualify. I was 83 miles away.”
I am also a remote employee, and was working under the assumption that I was protected under FMLA. Well, I was informed by HR that I wasn’t, because of this same rule you mention. However, my company is very progressive and extended the FMLA policy to me. I know that other women are not as lucky.
Half of moms fall through these GAPING holes in unpaid FMLA. Half! This is a policy that is not working for American families. We must fix it.
So, what does a good leave policy look like in the United States, specifically? What is the paid leave movement looking for in terms of benefits, time, and pay?
Ultimately, I want families to be able to afford to be family. When a spouse, parent or child becomes ill or is too small to take care of themselves I want American families to be able to say, “Yes, of course, I’ll be right there!” without risking bankruptcy or ruining their credit. I’m not a policy wonk, I’m a bereaved mother and advocate, but I know what families need. We all need bridges to care for our loved ones and once they are safe we return to work.
Can this be accomplished at a national level?
President Trump promised a national program for moms and dads! I tweet him at least once a month. I wish I had more of an inside track or some other way to bend his ear, but that’s where other voices come in! We all must raise our voices so families will not be forgotten. Our kids are our more precious resource it’s time American catch up with the rest of the world.
Shephard’s Law passed in Oklahoma in 2016. What other bills are you working on and what have you learned in terms of being an effective advocate?
I helped pass three new laws in Oklahoma, hoping that we would be a few steps closer to protecting children in childcare in Oklahoma. I’m currently working on an interim study on November 1st about paid family leave for state employees. Senator Kay Floyd introduced SB736 last session and we are using the study to educate as well as making sure a policy we would move forward with would be inclusive and will do the most good for the most families. New Step in Norman OK just changed their maternity leave to fully paid for 12 weeks and made our local news! Seeing the joy on those families faces and personally knowing their relief drives me forward. We must protect ALL families young and old, every life matters.
You’ve since had another child, a daughter. How did you handle maternity leave with her? I imagine you had a lot of fears about leaving her. Were you able to take the time you wanted?
I swallowed my pride and through tears asked my parents to help me stay home longer so that Esme didn’t have to go to daycare until she was 10 months old. I returned to work at 6 months, and I’ll never be able to repay them for their generosity. I see that short 6 months as an insurance policy that my parents bought for Esme. That policy allows me the privilege to see her grow up. It is a privilege to have children in this country but for our country to function every woman must have 2.1 children and those 2.1 children need to survive to adulthood.
So, any plans to run for office?
I need to be with my family for a while longer, but it’s not a possibility that I’ve ruled out. It would be my honor to serve my state in hopes of making it a better and safer place for children and families to live.
Thank you so much, Ali. I really wish we didn’t need stories like yours in order to care about this issue. We should as a society be able to understand that babies should be with their parents at least for the first six months of their lives, if not a whole year. We can and should do better for our babies, and for all families.
Facts:
- FMLA only protects employees of a company of 50 or more. It is 12 weeks unpaid leave.
- The U.S. is the only country among 41 nations that does not mandate any paid leave for new parents.
- Five states—California, Rhode Island,Washington, New Jersey, and New York—and the District of Columbia have laws that provide paid family leave for employees.
- Infants are at the highest risk for infant death between the ages of eight weeks and 16 weeks, and 20 percent of these deaths occur in childcare settings.
- “Each additional month of paid maternity leave offered in low- and middle-income countries (LMICs), infant mortality is reduced by 13%” according to a new study by researchers from McGill University and UCLA Fielding School of Public Health.
- The United States has the highest infant mortality rate of any industrialized nation
Resources and actions you can take:
- Visit forkarl.com for easy ways to contact your reps about this issue
- Visit http://paidleave.us/